"I've got a great idea. Lets put the two versions of Alfie out in a box set so everyone can see how inferior the remake is. How it's a pathetic little bit of mainstream fluff with a less than perfect but redeemable anti-hero, compared with a genuinely groundbreaking original with a thoroughly hateful, sick but accurate title character. Lets show everyone that Michael Caine has more acting ability in his eyebrows than all the Judes, Hughs and Colins put together. Lets package the five star original with the no star remake because we've got millions of DVDs of the remake already burnt that no-one wants to buy."