After You
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Product Description
Review
A brave and extraordinary testament of bereavement, as honest as any I have ever read (Observer )
Written with remarkable wisdom, grace and courage, it is a portrait of a woman fighting to reconcile death with life, and managing to do exactly that. How proud her husband would have been (Mail on Sunday )
McElhone writes with great honesty and without self pity . . . A masterclass in graceful endurance (Sunday Times )
A remarkable story of emotional survival, beautifully told (Daily Mail )
Written with remarkable wisdom, grace and courage, it is a portrait of a woman fighting to reconcile death with life, and managing to do exactly that. How proud her husband would have been (Mail on Sunday )
McElhone writes with great honesty and without self pity . . . A masterclass in graceful endurance (Sunday Times )
A remarkable story of emotional survival, beautifully told (Daily Mail )
Review
A brave and extraordinary testament of bereavement, as honest as any I have ever read Observer Written with remarkable wisdom, grace and courage, it is a portrait of a woman fighting to reconcile death with life, and managing to do exactly that. How proud her husband would have been Mail on Sunday McElhone writes with great honesty and without self pity ... A masterclass in graceful endurance Sunday Times A remarkable story of emotional survival, beautifully told Daily Mail
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
63 of 63 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I lost my husband in February of this year. Like Natascha, it came out of the blue - my husband was young, fit and apparently healthy. I've read several books that deal with grief as a project, but none come close to explaining the panic, the maelstrom of bewilderment, abandonment and chaos that has whipped around my head ever since; and none have thus far made me think - yes, that's what I'm feeling, that's what it's like.
Ms McElhone's book was featured in a Sunday paper last week, and after reading excerpts, I immediately ordered it. When it arrived, I read it in one greedy go. It's a short book, made up of diary entries and letters she wrote to her husband, who died while she was away filming, and while pregnant with their third son.
The first thing that struck me was the style of writing. Ms McElhone's prose is beautiful at times, but it's shot through with anger, panic and frustration. It's jerky in style, seemingly bouncing from one thing to another. At times it numbly describes the practicalities of death - choosing a coffin, where and how to do the funeral - at others, the words howl at you, and you can almost taste her lonlieness, her forlornness and her horror when the realisation of her situation hits her wiith juggernaut force, again and again. I found myself nodding along at times - she describes in one entry trying to get a phone company to switch the account from her husband's name to hers, and you can feel the heaviness in her heart when she tells them, no, he can't come to the phone as he has died, and the grim acceptance of their half-hearted condolences. I have made those calls, heard those words and my heart broke for her.
Another thing that the book highlights perfectly is the juxtaposition between a widow's grief, which is a private, intimate emotion, and the very public way in which one must present it. Ms. McElhone describes having to 'fit in' private grieving time between work and child-rearing, taking a half hour here and there to cry or to remember her husband. I almost shouted when I read this; my own grieving M.O. taking the form of only allowing myself to properly cry when I'm driving alone, so that I don't have to be seen, and I don't have to explain it to anyone or excuse or justify it in any way. A little thing perhaps, but something that distresses me. I was pleased that someone else understood it too.
Natascha describes in stark detail the reality of being widowed. She doesn't sugar-coat it, she doesn't dress it up with cliches, and she doesn't fall into the easy path of mawkish, sentimental memorial. I think that perhaps a person who has never been bereaved might find the book a bit full on - she really lets the reader into her marraige and her grief - but anyone who has lost someone will recognise every tear-stained word. It's a wonderful book, and a very lovely tribute to her husband. Natascha, if you're reading - thank you for putting into words what I never could.
Ms McElhone's book was featured in a Sunday paper last week, and after reading excerpts, I immediately ordered it. When it arrived, I read it in one greedy go. It's a short book, made up of diary entries and letters she wrote to her husband, who died while she was away filming, and while pregnant with their third son.
The first thing that struck me was the style of writing. Ms McElhone's prose is beautiful at times, but it's shot through with anger, panic and frustration. It's jerky in style, seemingly bouncing from one thing to another. At times it numbly describes the practicalities of death - choosing a coffin, where and how to do the funeral - at others, the words howl at you, and you can almost taste her lonlieness, her forlornness and her horror when the realisation of her situation hits her wiith juggernaut force, again and again. I found myself nodding along at times - she describes in one entry trying to get a phone company to switch the account from her husband's name to hers, and you can feel the heaviness in her heart when she tells them, no, he can't come to the phone as he has died, and the grim acceptance of their half-hearted condolences. I have made those calls, heard those words and my heart broke for her.
Another thing that the book highlights perfectly is the juxtaposition between a widow's grief, which is a private, intimate emotion, and the very public way in which one must present it. Ms. McElhone describes having to 'fit in' private grieving time between work and child-rearing, taking a half hour here and there to cry or to remember her husband. I almost shouted when I read this; my own grieving M.O. taking the form of only allowing myself to properly cry when I'm driving alone, so that I don't have to be seen, and I don't have to explain it to anyone or excuse or justify it in any way. A little thing perhaps, but something that distresses me. I was pleased that someone else understood it too.
Natascha describes in stark detail the reality of being widowed. She doesn't sugar-coat it, she doesn't dress it up with cliches, and she doesn't fall into the easy path of mawkish, sentimental memorial. I think that perhaps a person who has never been bereaved might find the book a bit full on - she really lets the reader into her marraige and her grief - but anyone who has lost someone will recognise every tear-stained word. It's a wonderful book, and a very lovely tribute to her husband. Natascha, if you're reading - thank you for putting into words what I never could.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Like C.S Lewis' work, cited often in After You, this too was a grief observed - as much by the public as the participants due to the author's public profile. Reading it, what's striking is how the unfathomably impossible - looking after two small boys and a baby, while trying to literally keep a roof over your head and somehow deal with the sudden death of your young healthy soulmate - becomes the very thing that gets McElhone through the days; not having the luxury of shutting down and hiding away. In addition, she conveys in heart-rending detail the "mammothness" of her loss; it's a visceral tangible emotional agony and like her and her children you find yourself wishing desperately he could come back for one last conversation, one last hug, the chance to say goodbye. But despite all this - and with the help of Baby - the book closes with the sense that while honouring his memory this family will thrive and move on in lives filled with love.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Lovely, lovely book. Very well written in a candid and honest way. I'm full of empathy (having lost my husband recently of a sudden heart attack)and admiration for Natasha Mc Elhone.
I still go back to the book and read a few pages now and again. A few good cries bring about some relief!
I still go back to the book and read a few pages now and again. A few good cries bring about some relief!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
MY BOOK OPINION
Natascha Mcelhone has been very brave in sharing her emotions with us. I found it useful reading about Ms Mcelhone's emotional resillience. Read more
Published 24 days ago by Rose
Optimism, vulnerability and strength - superb read!
I read this book by the beautiful soul of Natascha McElhone in one hit today! It totally captured me. Read more
Published 3 months ago by ShariMay
Tells it like it is
Like Natashca I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack.He was 36.I was 38 and left with our 2 young sons to raise. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Juliette
Very touching and raw
I bought this book because I had met Martin Kelly and was so shocked to hear of his death. His wife's very emotional journey is followed through her letters to him. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Helen B
Special book
I really enjoyed this book although it was heart wrenching. It was so poignant and you felt you were with her along the journey. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Marilyn
A good read, starling in the horror of loss
How I felt for this poor lady in her loss. She must have written it well as I felt her pain so keenly. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Mrs. D. Fletcher
A monument to love and courage
Great art, or for that matter any other line of work, is created out of love, it would appear. So it is with this great little book of letters composed by the actress Natascha... Read more
Published 17 months ago by doronjunger
Positive review
This book turned up after only a couple of days. It is an excellent book for widows who are bereaved at a young age. Very moving.
Published 18 months ago by Val2010
After you
This book is hard to put down. Brilliant heartbreaking and written so honestly. Would highly recommend
Published 21 months ago by P1
Enduring Love
A wonderful account of enduring love, Natascha McElhone writes in an honest, down to earth style which is neither sad nor happy. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Lindy
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