I found this book in the early l980's. It was a door opener to my history, my identity, my relationship patterns (and failures), my addictions, etc. etc. Some books are turning points. This one is a MAJOR PIVOT! I encourage anyone who thinks they may remotely identify with this book to get it. Then go immediately to an Adult Children of Alcoholics 12-step meeting..even before it comes in the mail. And listen. Find out that you may be one of 4 family types: hero, mascot, rebel or invisible one. Find out that the "elephant in the living room" is alcholism and that its not your fault and that you couldn't stop it, prevent it, or rescue them or yourself from it. But find out what recovery is like..that there is life after trauma. This book will be a powerful guide to all thats been hurting you. God bless you in your journey! Go to at least six meetings before you decide its not for you. Take kleenex. And listen! Someone will tell your life story within six meetings. How to find a meeting? Call your local AA number and ask them where the ACOA or ACA meetings are. If they don't have them in your area, ask for CODA (codependents anonymous), if they don't have them, ask for Al-anon. But GO!!!