Seth Grahame-Smith is well known for having turned Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" into a zombiefest, so what would he turn his gruesome imagination to next?
The answer: Abraham Lincoln, the iconic sixteenth president of the United States. Unfortunately, "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" isn't Grahame-Smith at his best -- it's a slow, wangsty slog that never quite makes up its mind whether it's a novel or a fictionalized biography. While Grahame-Smith conjures some unique ideas, it's not really funny or witty.
According to Grahame-Smith, he was leading a mundane existence running a store when he was accosted by a customer of his -- who turned out to be a vampire, and who wanted him to adapt and reveal Abraham Lincoln's secret journals. Born into a tiny farm in the Indiana woodlands, Lincoln first learned of vampires after his mother's death, and began a lifelong crusade to destroy as many of his mother's killers as possible.
With the assistance of a couple of buddies -- and a friendly vampire named Henry -- Lincoln's quest continued, only for him to lose more loved ones and friends as he silently destroyed the undead. Even after marrying and being elected president, Lincoln's main focus was on vampires -- especially since the United States and its countless enslaved people are being threatened not just with slavery, but with a fate worse than undeath.
The whole idea of the great Abraham Lincoln fighting against the undead is a pretty quirky idea, and the idea of a fictionalized biography filled with presidential vampire-slaying is even cooler. Sadly, this book only taps a little of that potential -- and the worst part is that you KNOW the author can do better.
Grahame-Smith's writing is also very uneven, swinging randomly between the aloof tone of a memoir/biography, and the florid gore-splattered mood of a vampire novel. Even the author seems to forget what kind of book he's writing, since there are huge chunks (including the final scene) which couldn't possibly be in Lincoln's secret journals. And the first half of the book is painfully slow and repetitive, although it becomes more interesting in the second half.
There ARE some clever moments (Lincoln and Poe's conversation, and Poe's suspicious death shortly thereafter), and some intense musings on good and evil ("That belief -- thaat we live beyond the reach of darkness -- is one that vampires have worked tirelessly to instill through the centuries"). But these aren't enough to save the book.
And this vampire-slaying version of Lincoln is not very likable either -- he whines, moans and mopes constantly, and reacts to every personal tragedy or setback with suicidal melodrama. He doesn't seem to have the backbone to be a president, let alone a vampire hunter. He's Emo-ham Lincoln! The only interesting character is Henry, a "good" vampire who gives Lincoln information and little nudges in his silent crusade. Too bad we didn't hear more about him.
I was expecting some wit and clever historical twists in "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," but instead Seth Grahame-Green drags us through a wildly uneven, melodramatic little historical novel.