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GO AWAY I NEED YOU! Are You Dating A Borderline Narcissist? [Kindle Edition]

David Surman
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

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  • Length: 35 pages (estimated)
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Book Description

Are You Dating A Borderline Narcissist?


“HAVE YOU RECENTLY MET SOMEONE (online, for example) who is just too good to be true? Have you been placed upon a pedestal so high that you feel that only death can occur by falling? Told how amazing you are 24/7? Relentless tales about a deeply troubled past? Failed relationships and how badly they were treated or of inordinate personal trial or tragedy? Potentially serious physical ailments? How they hate their cruel mother? Talk of marriage and settling down within weeks? Incredible sex? Marathon phone calls? Constant interaction? Been convinced that you’ll share a life together because he/she drummed the notion into your brain? Did they somehow convince you that only you could save them from further strife? If you’re nodding your head, this is known as IDEALISATION. It will not last and could mean that you are being “groomed” by an individual suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)…”

“Borderline Personality Disorder is a serious mental illness - meaning: it can seriously drive you crazy! Mainly prevalent in females (75%) this condition affects men (25%) too. It is reckoned that in the UK 1 in 7 people are BPD. Social networking sites are a breeding ground for these individuals. I have provided this information because my own experience of dating someone that I suspect is suffering from this awful condition almost drove me to insanity and thoughts of suicide. It scared the hell out of me!”

“The Borderline is often a person filled with core emptiness. They possess little or nothing in the way of identity. When you become involved with a Borderline you basically serve a purpose. You become - in their eyes, a version of the “self” they long to inhabit. Borderlines are essentially emotional vampires…”

© 2011 David Paul Surman

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 151 KB
  • Print Length: 35 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0063G29EU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #69,740 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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More About the Author

David Paul Surman was born in Wolverhampton, United Kingdom, in 1968. After leaving school in 1984 with little or nothing in the way of qualifications, he decided to become an author.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Very Subjective 3 May 2012
By David
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The author has clearly had an unhealthy, unsatisfying relationship and goes on to diagnose his ex partner with BPD after reading an article and doing some research. I would call this leaflet a one side post-mortem of unsuccessful relationship, rather than a description and analysis of BDP and relationships from a qualified professional.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The love detour 12 Aug. 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
David Surman's short treatise on his painful experience is worthy of being on every counselling and psychotherapy course reading list. Many of us grow up with a long list of unfulfilled needs, being treated specially by our mother partly because we, as men, are different maybe part of the problem. Surman's observation that he was both dealing with a trained professional psychotherapist as well as someone with a difficult and serious personality problem is profound. The fact that many, or all of such professionals are never screened as to why they are entering the profession is a point of concern. Love it seems was for him real but for his lover a detour to a controlling and manipulative state. He writes about the sudden precipitous ending and his suicidal feelings that the ending evoked in a honest manner. His book leaves a number of questions for the reader and for therapists like my self;
How much of his response was predisposition from unfulfilled needs etc?
In many cases only the affected injured party gets into therapy, what about the BPD individual?
What safeguards exist in caring professions to ensure BPD is detected in applicants and subsequently treated?
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4.0 out of 5 stars A Great book highly recommend! 26 Mar. 2015
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
An interesting read & it's great to find a book written by the partner of a bpd relationship as majority are for the sufferers.
I could relate to most of the authors experiences but as my ex bpd relationship was with a male some of the experiences I had were different. I've been in two relationships with the most severe form of personality disorders. The first person was a psychopath, and I thought I'd suffered the worst until I met someone with BPD. In my opinion the police & other authorities should build up a profile of patterns of abuse towards the different victims which could help to make a diagnosis and force these people into treatment!
He will not admit to anything or get help for himself although he is deeply unhappy. His mother is the carrier of this gene being narcisstic and borderline herself it's pretty normal behaviour according to my ex. My ex needs monitoring by authorities because he's on the high scale of bpd and little did I realise he was the person who had been stalking me months prior to meeting him.
He is above average intelligence and due to his low self esteem he found it appropriate to install spyware onto my computer and mobile phones on 3 occasions it was due to the repeated incidents that I knew it was him while he watched me going mentally insane.
He had been calling the police telling them he was worried for my mental health months before I reported the computer hacking to which the police wouldn't do anything other than tell me to take my computer and the phones he'd messed with to a computer expert and if they can find any evidence its him then they will take action.

I was off work due to the mental wreck I'd become so obviously I didn't have the hundreds of pounds it would cost me to get an expert to look at them.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Go away I need you! Are you dating a borderline 17 July 2014
By Debbie
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I've just left an emotionally abusive relationship so I think or maybe I was the abuser he would certainly want me to believe that as every thing I did or said was wrong, I'm now finding a need to research all of this in a hope of finding answers, find some resolve some closure or just to make certain I don't own the personality flaws that have been projected on me. This book has been very insightful and helpful and I thoroughly recommend the read its given me more questions to ask myself and to look into and also given me insight into the contradictions of every thing I feel from this. The author is very honest with his experiences and the horrible reality of these relationships in a way a reassurance of just how does someone who once claimed they loved you wanted to marry you then turn so nasty and somehow manage to make you believe it was all your fault. Big praise to those who can be open enough to explore their own realities and work towards helping others.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I found David Surman's book a very useful edition to the various texts available on BPD because most of those books predominantly discuss the impact of BPD on the suffer; although more recent and accessible books discuss strategies in the main to allow you to continue to have some kind of relationship with the person who has BPD. David Surman rightly points out at the beginning of his narrative that BPD is a mental illness and causes great distress to the sufferer, however the unknowing victims of people with BPD and how they suffer is often over-looked and this can range from the children of a parent or guardian with BPD, to other family members, friends, and partners. Many of the victims of people with BPD, who hoped to find love or friendship or at the very least understanding discover that not only was that quest in vain but also lead to rejection with a level of cruelty which is very difficult to understand, nonetheless they finally develop the strength to either walk away and rebuild their lives or adopt strategies to allow them to cope. However for a small group of those victims it is not so easy, some may be damaged by the experience of trying to build a relationship with someone with BPD for a life-time, and a tiny minority may go to more desperate means by taking their own life or attacking the person who has driven them to such despair. Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars I have just got out of a year long relationship ...
I have just got out of a year long relationship with a borderline narcissist woman.
This book sums up exactly what I have experienced.
Published 5 months ago by baguasrr
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazingly helpful
A very helpful book, after my undiagnosed borderline left me, I read this book, and I almost fainted in shock when I saw things like "If she mentions the!!". Read more
Published 9 months ago by Chris Haywood
4.0 out of 5 stars Borderline Personality responds!
I have been diagnosed with a personality disorder. It was like reading about myself. I am fortunate to be in a relationship now with someone whom I love and respect enough (and who... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Melody Nixon
4.0 out of 5 stars Thought's
Very thought provoking book. At least l realize l am not living with a Borderline partner.Which l am very grateful for !.
Published 13 months ago by Nessa
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting!
I liked the book. It was very informative and the approach was interesting . Just wondering if there is a cure!
Published on 25 Mar. 2013 by Jo
3.0 out of 5 stars Not impressed
Not impressed. Just seemed like a bitter rant to me. Not very objective
A bit disappointing. More like someone telling a hard luck storey
Published on 2 Mar. 2013 by d mccluskey
5.0 out of 5 stars BRILLIANT
Really helped explain the meaning of a personality disorder and recognise patterns of behaviour they nay exhibit, it's really not you.
Published on 9 Jan. 2013 by sylvia nealon
5.0 out of 5 stars The barn door closes on your fingers after the narcissist runs off
Spot on. An accident waiting to happen when you get involved with a narcissist. Pretty autobiographical and not from a professional counselor's perspective but helpful. Read more
Published on 9 Jan. 2013 by Kindle Customer
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